Monkeys

Monkeys are fast. You can't catch a monkey, they are very fast.
You might can try, and even feel that you are closing in on sucess--but no.
They are only toying with you.

Unless of course you happen to be a pirate. Pirates have a special power over the monkey.

So, if you are lacking pirate blood, don't wast time trying to catch your own monkey.
A better idea would build your own robot monkey.
Saves on the poop flinging bills too.